I hate it when I’m stressed out. I feel stuffy inside. I don’t really want to talk because when I do, I might not control my tears. Silly me? I guess.
Yeah. I know. Crying is good. That’s what I wanted to do. But right now, I’m at work and I don’t want to ruin my make up. (Antagal kaya ayusin nito.) If I start to cry now, I’ll look like a raccoon or a panda, a thin panda. (Hindi naman kasi waterproof ang eyeliner ko.)
Being stressed out is like already a part of my life. Anyway, although I say I am stressed out but I guess I wasn’t always serious about it. But today, it’s different. I’ve reached my limit again. I’m about to burst, yet I must not. 😥
I hate being disappointed. Yeah. Who likes it anyway? I get stressed out when I’m disappointed. On not so serious ‘stressful’ days, I might just eat food. Yummy ones. But when I’m seriously stressed out, (like today) I don’t want to eat at all. I lose my appetite. (Yung tipong kumakain ka, but your tummy and body doesn’t seem to absorb it), I lose my energy. I lose the drive to make the most of my day. I’d be lazily doing things. I’d perhaps be moody and gloomy all day, faking my smiles just so I wouldn’t affect my students’ feeling. (Oops, before you make a conclusion of me as a tutor, I only fake the smiles when stressed out but I’m always sincere when I compliment them..^^. Defensive? kkk).
Oh writing… It has always been one of my outlets to relieve this gloomy feeling. Talking to people is good and many would suggest that. But I know people don’t always want to hear your complains. It’s tiring because I’ve been there too. And besides, negativity is contagious. So I rather not affect their good moods too. I’d just write it here… in my own space… in my own little online space where only a few people knew about.
So if you’re reading this and you’re affected by how I feel now, I’m sorry. Cheer up. I’ll do that too.
Breathe in, breathe out. Okay. I’m a lot better. Whew.. or maybe not yet.. I could use some more help here.
I guess, let’s just listen to some Christian songs. Now that’s relaxing.