On Self-expression…

*On thinking…

I guess I’m the kind of person who likes thinking. There were so many ideas, so many questions, so many thoughts running inside my head. Those from books, from the web, from people, from my surrounding, they just keep accumulating and when I start to think about them I just get engrossed and then, eventually, my brain wouldn’t be able to process them anymore. I feel like my head would just start to freeze and I get stressed out. I’ll realize I really dunno how to manage them. [Quite not good in organizing]. Suddenly, I remembered someone telling me, “Do not eat more than what you can chew.” [Now that’s one of those things he thought me and one of those I wouldn’t forget. (T.T)]

*On speaking…
I find it difficult to speak. When it comes to me expressing my own thoughts and feelings, it seems like I couldn’t always find the right words. When I speak, I felt they lack substance. Like it needed more words but I just couldn’t voice them out right at once. I could say I’m not very effective when it comes to this one.

*On writing…
I feel much comfortable to express myself through writing. Words don’t come easy but when I started writing/typing, I felt more relaxed. My mind always wanders. So it gives me so much to write about [random various thoughts.] But with a pen and paper or a computer, I can have the time to think and get the space to write all my thoughts. I really fall into deep thinking when I start writing. Like I really get lost in it. [tulala…hehe]. I got a lot of ideas, however, they just don’t fit together [really]. So I still need some figuring out to do about that. If that was done, I could’ve written volumes of books by now. [Haha. Kidding.] Anyway, I love writing. It’s when I write that I get the chance to take things slowly and think carefully. It’s like I can free myself more through it. It’s sure is one of my favorite outlets.

*On actions…
I got so many plans and goals and there are so many things I wanted to do. And I wanted to do all of them by myself. Sometimes, or perhaps oftentimes, I don’t like asking help from others. Not that I don’t trust them, but because I don’t want to bother them with my plans. But I realized that I dunno how to accomplish all of them by myself. So that’s why until now, I couldn’t or it took me ages to get things done. And that’s frustrating.

*On learning…
In all these, I learned that I should take one step at a time. That must be something I need to work on with. God must be teaching me to slower down a bit. Don’t rush things up. Avoid too much multitasking. Since my impatience and impulsive acts mostly get me into trouble, I should take this thought seriously. Suddenly, I missed the time that I’m not almost talking but just listening more. I gained much wisdom through listening. Although both [“more talking, less listening” and “less talking, more listening“] got their downsides, I must practice to balance things up. And that takes time. But in everything, I know I have a God who won’t give up on shaping me until I am conformed according to His purpose.

“When everything in life seems to be moving in a fast pace, we must learn when to slow down. Sometimes, it’s when we rush things up that we missed all the enjoyment in our life journey. Take some time to breathe, to smile, to laugh, to dance, to appreciate the beauty that God has created for you.”


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